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Love is a funny thing. When I first met the 3rd ex-Mrs. Hammockrider I knew she was a bit , shall we say "sexually ambivalent" yet somehow I actually found that kinda hot. Perhaps because, thoroughbred that I am, I was blooded to the chase. In any event a rapid courthsip was followed by an even quicker wedding(Uncle Ferd's Hitchin' Post and Shotgun Repair.) Her lack of interest in sex continued despite my best efforts and a $3,000 Thai "Love Chair" from Sharper Image. The Minute Therapist down at the Mega-Lo-Mart suggested role playing and I confessed to my wife of my fondness for a scene in Return of the Jedi when Princess Leah wore a certain "slave girl outfit". This is what she came up with, what she handed me 3 weeks later with a tepid suggestion to "knock myself out". Perhaps she misheard me over the sound of her masticating Bon-bons but this isn't exactly what I had in mind at the time. We parted ways of course shortly thereafter, I taking up residence in the Ramen Noodle Arms Bachelor Apartments and she gaining employment at the Mega-Lo-Mart Therapy Kiosk..
I must say that life is much less complicated and stressful without the 3rd ex-Mrs. Hammockrider, except for one thing. For some reason, I can't stop thinking about my West Highland Terrier, Carrie
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